black and white

most of you know that mike is gone a lot.

like five days, four nights a week.

truth be told, it isn't as hard as i thought it would be.

but i made a goal at the beginning to not get lost in the whirlwind of the weeks.

you know, keep track of what day it was.

and whether or not i had eaten.

and as part of making sure i'm doing that, i've been making sure i keep pulling out my camera.

it's good to have a hobby.

and sometimes, it keeps me sane.

it makes me feel like i'm documenting something real important.

when really i'm just fighting to get tennyson to use the fork by himself...

or to get maggie to go back to sleep at two in the morning...

 or to keep both the kids looking relatively clean.

what i'm left with is a lot of pictures that i honestly don't know what to do with.

so when the kids are all tucked in bed, i spend some time editing.

and then they get filed away in a folder.

it's funny, because here i was tonight sitting here and looking at these pictures of tennyson thinking

when in the world did he get so big?

when i realized, i'd had that thought a million times before.

like when we first brought maggie home from the hospital.

tennyson looked so old and so grown up compared to that tiny little baby.

here we are a year later,

and i'm sitting here thinking about how old they've gotten in only a years time and wishing i could make time slow down a little bit.

because in only a year, i'll look back at my newest black and white picture of them

and it'll stun me how little they are and how old i thought they were.

so here's to hoping.

hoping for time to slow down just a little bit.

because even though mike is gone a lot,

and sometimes i feel like i'm going crazy.

i'm really, really, really going to miss this.